Sunday, May 10, 2009
Sports, "Hunt's Grunts"

Keep your chin up, Jordan

What’s so entertaining about Charles Barkley is...

Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images
Jordan Schafer

By Hunt Archbold

What’s so entertaining about Charles Barkley is that whenever he’s on camera or speaking into a microphone, you must listen with the understanding that anything from the absurd to the astute is about to be uttered. Like on the Dan Patrick Show last week, when Barkley mused, “I like Ron Artest, but I think he’s a couple sandwiches short of a Happy Meal.”

Barkley’s hardly the spokesperson for political correctness, of course; this is the same man who, upon retiring from his Hall of Fame NBA career, said, “I’m just what America needs—another unemployed black man.” He clearly isn’t shy about blurting out whatever his train of thought might be. Some people are just that way.

Studying from a few rows back of home plate last week as Atlanta rookie centerfielder Jordan Schafer painfully whiffed three times in yet another offensively anemic Braves loss, it was hard not to wonder about the current psyche of the youthful-looking 22-year-old. Two games later, Schafer fanned four more times at Florida to see his average drop to .227, as memories of that first major league at-bat home run on opening night become a fading afterthought.

With 38 strikeouts in his first 88 at-bats, Schafer’s more than on pace to set the all-time major league single-season record for strikeouts—not that the Braves would necessarily allow him to stick around long enough to set it. The reality is that if something doesn’t click soon, Schafer is headed back to the minors.

Still, with each strikeout, no matter how many runners he has stranded (and there have been a lot so far), Schafer displays little emotion, often calmly walking out to his position in center field, rubbing his sore left wrist. In those moments, knowing he has failed, feeling the concentrated stare of the crowd and/or the camera eye, what is he thinking?

It’s one thing to be in a slump where the ball isn’t falling in the right spots. But as a hitter, it’s another to so consistently fail to put the ball in play, especially at the outset of one’s career. These can’t be happy times. Major league history is littered with players who were supposed to stay in the show for years and years, only to struggle early and never meet expectations. Where are you, Brad Komminsk? What happened, George Lombard?

While most of us understand that 100 or so plate appearances is far too early to judge an entire career, there are others pointing out the hot start by Josh Anderson, whom the Braves traded to the Tigers in late spring, in essence paving the way for Schafer time in Atlanta. As a part-time outfielder competing for more time, Anderson was batting .333 with seven RBIs in his first 51 plate appearances, with more steals (six) than Atlanta (five) through the first five weeks of the season. It would appear that their careers will be compared from here on out. Here’s hoping that Schafer’s is long and successful here in Atlanta, especially after his 50-game suspension last year on suspicion of using HGH.

Indeed, sometimes it just doesn’t work out the first time around. Three years ago, Kansas City pitcher Zack Greinke, then (like Schafer now) a fresh 22 years of age, was out of baseball after being diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder. He’s back now, older and better prepared; this spring he became only the third person in the history of the game (after Walter Johnson and Fernando Valenzuela) to begin a season with a 6-0 record and an ERA less than 0.50. That’s a small club.

So Jordan Schafer, this Jäger bomb’s for you, because, quite frankly, all you struggling Braves hitters could use a little moral support. Stay positive. Get that wrist healed, stay balanced in your batting stance and keep your weight back. And remember those sage words of Sir Charles: “The main thing to do is to relax and let the talent do the work.”

Happy times … “and that’s why I don’t eat shrimp.”—Charles Barkley. SP

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Sportopia Clarification of the Week: What has Jon Barry done in the NBA?

Barry, the former Georgia Tech player and Atlanta Hawk who now provides NBA commentary on ESPN and ABC, made some rather disparaging remarks regarding the Hawks’ playoff series win over Miami and their chances against Cleveland in the second round. This led a defiant Coach Mike Woodson to go on local radio and opine, “I’m trying to figure out what [Barry] has done in the league, really.”

Well, Barry did play 14 years in the league, finishing with more than 4,700 points, 1,500 rebounds and 1,700 assists. Not bad, but not as good as the numbers Woodson posted in 12 NBA seasons: 10,981 points, 1,838 rebounds and 1,822 assists. Maybe, though, Barry has an inferiority complex, considering he’s only the third-best player in his family (dad Rick is among the NBA’s all-time greats, while younger brother Brent has two NBA championship rings, ranks 10th all-time in three-pointers and is the only white dude ever to win the Slam Dunk Contest). Then again, probably not. Barry was merely doing his job, giving his opinion when asked. Someone needs to take a chill pill.